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Thu, Jan. 15th, 2009, 10:52 am
In Memorium

Rest in peace, Ana Hubbard. Goodbye, old friend.

Also, rest in peace, Ricardo Montalban.

Fri, Oct. 17th, 2008, 02:44 pm
In Memorium

Rest in peace, Levi Stubbs.

Mon, Sep. 29th, 2008, 11:38 pm
Woooooooooooo!

Yesterday, I defeated my friend Tom Musto to become the 2007-2008 Bush v. Batman Omega Fantasy Baseball League Champion! This is not just any fantasy baseball league, but a very competitive annual affair with some high quality participants (one of the team managers helped write the book Fantasyland).

So, of course, my victory required me to post an obnoxious message to the League's message board. For those of you that do not have the message board password, I post the message here to bring further glory to my victory:

---------------


I am way happier about this than I should be.

I would love to just make this post about shameless gloating, but I have got to tip my hat to Musto first. Your boys put up some amazing numbers over the last couple of weeks. I think it says a lot about the league that, in the end, it all came down to one one-hundredth of a point. My cap is tipped to you, sir.

That said, I also must give myself a pat on the back for making the switch to a closer for the second week. When Myers started out with a 25+ ERA, I knew that I would not catch you in both ERA and WHIP, so even under a best case scenario I needed another point somewhere. I was cursing my lack of faith in Roy Halladay's complete game power until I saw Santana pitch his complete game. I agonized over that line-up move for an hour. *pat, pat, pat*


Now that the respect is out of the way . . .

I think we can sum up this season with one word: dominance. I owned this league from start to finish, leaving first place for only a week or two here and there so that y'all would not lose interest. When it mattered most, my team performed, coming from behind in both the semi-finals and finals to obtain the ultimate glory. As for season totals, I was top 3 in runs, home runs, stolen bases, total bases, batting average, OBP, IP, wins, complete games, strikeouts, and WHIP. In fact, the only two categories where I was not in the top half of the league were saves (in which I only competed in select weeks) and RBIs.

--I tied led the league in head-to-head victories (tied with Musto).
--I had the most overall category wins in the season.
--I had the largest average margin of victory per match-up, and, even in my bad weeks, I had the smallest average margin of defeat.
--I defeated every team in the league at least once.

And I did it all with consistency and an all-around game. I did not rely solely on my pitching or my offense, but kept my team well balanced through slumps and injuries. Manager of the year? Yeah, that's me. Just look at my history in this league:

2003- 11th, The Basement
2004- 9th
2005- 3rd
2006- 7th
2007- 4th
2008- Champion

It's been a long road from the cellar, kids, and I have no intention of going back. Bow down before me, losers, for I AM YOUR KING!!!



Go Caps!

Mon, Sep. 29th, 2008, 11:37 pm
In Memorium

Rest in peace, Paul Newman.

Fri, Sep. 12th, 2008, 08:28 am
An Open Letter to the Obama Campaign

Dear Obama Campaign,

I am really pulling for you guys. I mean really pulling. I volunteer when I can and my wife and I have already given you about double the money that we originally budgeted. I am praying every minute of every day that you come out on top in November.

So, we're friends, right? More than that, I am an investor in your campaign. I think this entitles me to be honest with you, doesn't it. Here it goes . . .

Senator Obama's speech at the DNC? Brilliant.

Senator Obama's stump speeches? Inspiring.

But your TV ads SUCK.

Maybe I should not use that word. How about these: awful, terrible, incomprehensibly useless. Better?

Now, calm down. I know what you are thinking. Here is another one of these paranoid liberals saying we are weak and that we have already lost and that we have to attack, attack, attack. Well, yes and no. I'm all about going on the offensive, but my problem is less with how much of it you are doing and more with how you are doing it.

This is the campaign of change -- at least I think it is, it's been a while since I have really heard that message hit by someone other than John McCain. If this is the campaign of change, why are you running the same old, tired, ridiculous attack ads with the stupid horror movie voice over and pithy jabs?

These ads work if you are willing to say something extreme in them. "Obama wants to teach his 6-year-old daughter sex education? Wow, he is really wacky." This does not work the same way if you want to, you know, stay even close to the truth. "McCain does not use e-mail? Oh, huh, I better go walk the dog." See the difference?

Am I saying don't attack? No, of course not, but it is time to think outside the box rather than throwing my money away on ad after ad right out of the campaign media consultant handbook.

Allow me to suggest a two prong ad strategy.

First, the positive. Yes, you heard me right. It is what you do best anyway, so run with it. You did it during the Olympics, but you wasted your most valuable asset -- the candidate. People want to want to vote for Obama, so put him up front. Have him speak directly into the camera about change and his vision for the future. Use clips from the Convention and, yes, even Berlin. "Change we can believe in" is a great slogan, so use it well.

Second, the negative, but not the traditional "McCain eats babies" garbage. Not the voice over of doom. Not telling the people why John McCain is bad. Instead, let John McCain tell the people why John McCain is bad. Maybe set it up quickly with a bit of commentary, but they show the old McCain and candidate McCain, back to back, in their own words. Let them tell the people how candidate McCain has tried to dance his way around old positions, and on many occasions flat out changed them. Maybe even show candidate McCain perversely lying about Obama wanting to teach sex ed to six-year-olds and then put a live human being on the screen saying into the camera "I was there and took part in the vote and McCain's characterization of it is a lie." (That's right, I said LIE.) Then, you tie it back -- "Same old politics. John McCain, more of the same." Something like that. Then you hit it over and over and over and over. And over. Every new ad has new footage of McCain putting his own foot in his own mouth. "Same old politics. John McCain, more of the same."

I don't have a degree in communications. I have not spent my entire life working on campaigns. I just have over a decade of watching Republicans beat Democrats with lies and garbage. Do you need to attack? Yes, but you need to do it smartly on your own terms and with issues. Don't let them drag a big campaign down to small crap like McCain does not use e-mail. Keep the big campaign about big issues. Eventually, it will get you a majority, if you hit it over and over and over and over.

And over.

My two cents. Thank you. You are heroes.

Tue, Jul. 22nd, 2008, 04:41 pm
In Memorium

Rest in peace, Estelle Getty.

Thu, Jul. 10th, 2008, 02:36 pm
Great Op-Ed

Thank you, Ms. Collins.

Thu, Jun. 26th, 2008, 08:25 pm
Bye Bye Comcast

So, despite my basically telling them I would leave if they did not offer me the promotional price if I upgraded to digital cable, Comcast said no. Not only did they not offer me the deal, they did not even tell me that they valued my business and that they hoped I did not leave. They did not even offer me a minimal nominal discount, or to match a competitor's best regular price for a few months (the competitors are cheaper). Poor.

So, the only question now -- Verizon FIOS or DirectTV?

Mon, Jun. 23rd, 2008, 08:10 am
In Memorium

Rest in peace, George Carlin.

Tue, Jun. 17th, 2008, 08:17 pm
Wow.

This one speaks for itself.

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